Today a blog post hit me hard! It hit me like a ton of bricks. You can find it here
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
and I have to laugh because this isn't new news to me! I absolutely know that all my children want from me is ME...I say it to me all the time! In fact, I don't know how many times I have told my husband that same thing! He has said to me countless times that he feels he isn't providing us enough, we don't own our house, we drive a 2002 van with 200,000 + miles on it, he wishes he could give us the world, and every time I say "All we want is all of you." And, it's true. I don't know how many times I have said "what do you think the kids will remember more? Our car, what you didn't provide or the memories made and time spent??"
Oh, yes, there are a few that have it all figured out. They were few and far between, and I applaud them. A serious question I ask myself is though, who are they doing it for? Is it more self gratification or for the kids/family? This is a question I may start asking. And that's not to say you can't pursue things to better yourself. But, I think checks and balances should be used.
I don't know why this blog entry hit me so hard. I have been saying this for years, yearning for simplicity and it took until today to realize I need to heed my own advice. To remember what I am after and hope to achieve - simplicity.
I don't keep a spotless house, I am NOT Martha Stewart, I do love my family to pieces, I do have a kid friendly home and I try to cook from scratch as much as I can, like my mom.
When I look at Pinterest or read other well seasoned blogs, I try not to let it make me feel inadequate, and it's hard. I need to remember that my kids are not the author of each blog entry I read, they are not the creators of Pinterest and certainly they do not make up all those pins. They, quite honestly, do not even know they exist; they have no standard by which to measure me by. We as individuals do that enough on our own! Of course it is so fun to look at Pinterest and it can be clearly beneficial to read blogs to inform yourself or make you think. :) I think for me, however, it is easy to fall into the trap even when I am actively seeking out simplicity. One thing leads to another and suddenly there I am with my measuring stick. ;)
It had taken as few "hits to the head." Why, just last week I read this: "motherhood is not a race. The only ones who lose are those who race to the finish." I don't think I necessarily compete; at least not outwardly. It's the internal competition and for why?
I am glad that I read that blog today. I think it's the final piece of the puzzle that I needed to fully see what I need to do and who I need to be, in order to achieve what I desire so much.
To go even further down this rabbit trail (LOL), I also think that it's a true testament of how things and ideas can become obsessions and turn into idols.
Ex 20:3-4 reads (NIV)
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or the waters below.
This even holds true for anything that I have discussed above to finances to anything. Example. I constantly pour over our finances; look for new ways. In some ways, it had turned to an obsession, crossing the line into something I spent more time focusing on instead of the Lord. This means I am trying to control things and I don't trust God. Doesn't God say to not worry about tomorrow? Does he not have control? God is intentional - there is my word of the year, folks. He weaves every command and every bible passage into one word. FAITH. :)
So lesson learned, once again?
1) My children want ME (and daddy). Not items and ideas on Pinterest or some self help blog writer.
2) Don't obsess.
3) Don't worry.
4) Faith like a child
Who knows if any of this made sense....it's 12:30 am.
