A mom....simplicity.....a lesson relearned

Today a blog post hit me hard! It hit me like a ton of bricks. You can find it here
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
and I have to laugh because this isn't new news to me! I absolutely know that all my children want from me is ME...I say it to me all the time! In fact, I don't know how many times I have told my husband that same thing! He has said to me countless times that he feels he isn't providing us enough, we don't own our house, we drive a 2002 van with 200,000 + miles on it, he wishes he could give us the world, and every time I say "All we want is all of you." And, it's true. I don't know how many times I have said "what do you think the kids will remember more? Our car, what you didn't provide or the memories made and time spent??"

Oh, yes, there are a few that have it all figured out. They were few and far between, and I applaud them. A serious question I ask myself is though, who are they doing it for? Is it more self gratification or for the kids/family? This is a question I may start asking. And that's not to say you can't pursue things to better yourself. But, I think checks and balances should be used.

I don't know why this blog entry hit me so hard. I have been saying this for years, yearning for simplicity and it took until today to realize I need to heed my own advice. To remember what I am after and hope to achieve - simplicity.
I don't keep a spotless house, I am NOT Martha Stewart, I do love my family to pieces, I do have a kid friendly home and I try to cook from scratch as much as I can, like my mom.

When I look at Pinterest or read other well seasoned blogs, I try not to let it make me feel inadequate, and it's hard. I need to remember that my kids are not the author of each blog entry I read, they are not the creators of Pinterest and certainly they do not make up all those pins. They, quite honestly, do not even know they exist; they have no standard by which to measure me by. We as individuals do that enough on our own! Of course it is so fun to look at Pinterest and it can be clearly beneficial to read blogs to inform yourself or make you think. :) I think for me, however, it is easy to fall into the trap even when I am actively seeking out simplicity. One thing leads to another and suddenly there I am with my measuring stick. ;)

It had taken as few "hits to the head." Why, just last week I read this: "motherhood is not a race. The only ones who lose are those who race to the finish." I don't think I necessarily compete; at least not outwardly. It's the internal competition and for why?

I am glad that I read that blog today. I think it's the final piece of the puzzle that I needed to fully see what I need to do and who I need to be, in order to achieve what I desire so much.

To go even further down this rabbit trail (LOL), I also think that it's a true testament of how things and ideas can become obsessions and turn into idols.

     Ex 20:3-4 reads (NIV)
You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or the waters below.

This even holds true for anything that I have discussed above to finances to anything. Example. I constantly pour over our finances; look for new ways. In some ways, it had turned to an obsession, crossing the line into something I spent more time focusing on instead of the Lord. This means I am trying to control things and I don't trust God.  Doesn't God say to not worry about tomorrow? Does he not have control? God is intentional - there is my word of the year, folks. He weaves every command and every bible passage into one word. FAITH. :)

So lesson learned, once again?
1) My children want ME (and daddy). Not items and ideas on Pinterest or some self help blog writer.
2) Don't obsess.
3) Don't worry.
4) Faith like a child

Who knows if any of this made sense....it's 12:30 am.

Simplifying your home tip #1

Got a small bathroom? I do and I also have five people to share it.....I hung an over the door shoe organizer up and put all our daily toiletries in it, and then giving each kid a row for their stuff (brushes, bath toys that would fit, ponies/clips, etc.....then I also rolled up washcloths, since I have limited linen closet space. :)

Good Friday

It is said that although Good Friday is usually a solemn day, because we know the end of the story, we can rejoice and celebrate the Good News of Good Friday!
I will be the first to admit that until I started homeschooling this year, I had no idea what Good Friday stood for. Now I know! And thanks be to God for giving me the opportunity to learn along side my children! and not only just about this, but with everything.
I sit here often and think "Man, I really need to find a women's bible study" or " I really need an accountability partner with dieting or exercise." The truth is, God had shown me this morning, that some of the best, MY best, accountability partners are my children. God is intentional with their honesty and innocence. "Mom, why do you have wrinkles around your eyes?"..."Mom, if the bible says pigs are unclean, why do we love bacon?"...."Mom, you promised...."...."Mom, Dad said "this" while you were at work"....and the list goes on.
There is no greater accountability than that!!!
In my 2012 quest to figure out my word of the year, which is intentional and more on that in another post, I think I may have stumbled upon something. With intentionality comes accountability and with that comes responsibility. Ugh....one of the dreaded "R" words!!!
Anyway, these are just some of the thoughts I am having, and I will need to dig deeper. For now, I better stop because I hear one of my accountability partners singing "Mommy, mommy, mommy" from her crib. <3 It is now my responsibility to go watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates with her.
I am going to fully enjoy my three day Easter weekend with my family!! Have a blessed one and Happy Friday!

A new journey

There's no easy way to start this blog post; it's surely one that will raise an eyebrow or two and already has.  I've been second guessed and grilled by some from the moment I spoke these words but I have also had so much support from the majority of my family and friends that it totally outweighed the naysayers.  Aside from the support and the naysayers, the biggest, most important sign from God that this is the way he wants us to go is the support from my BFF; my husband.  :)  The mere fact that he and I are on the same page and made a decision that didn't involve one dragging their feet or having hesitation or humoring the other is a huge step for us and we needed to take action. 

Homeschooling.  :)

While growing up, hearing the word homeschooling had such a negative connotation to it.  It was left for the bad kids in school who just couldn't get their act together or were expelled from school.  It was a word that, for me, fell from my vocabulary because I just couldn't imagine ever being homeschooled nor being a homeschool-er.  Until now. 

For many reasons, we have felt led to homeschool our older kids right now.  It's a decision that we struggled with all summer long.  It's been a topic that has weighed heavily on my heart, specifically for quite a long, long time.  After much prayer, here we are.

But, after diving into our first week of homeschooling Bubba and Sweet Pea (and Peanut is right along side us!), I can honestly say that I feel this is going to be a good thing.  We will have our bad days, we will have fantastic days.  We will be tired, we will be full of energy and enthusiasm.  There will be days that we will say to ourselves "what are we thinking???" and then there will be days where we will be saying to ourselves "job well done!"  I will end this by saying that while we acknowledge concerns regarding this decision, we hope that those who are concerned can find a way to respect and support us in this new path. We are really looking forward to this adventure and would love to share it with you in a positive environment.

Now, if you would like to see how we spent our first week, please join us!  Sit back, enjoy your cup o' joe (or diet coke) and see what we did!  We are so excited!

Sweet Pea working on Johnny Appleseed day worksheets.  We learned that his real name was John Chapman and he wore a pan on his head.  :)  Or so they say.  :)

 For math this week we participated in the St. Jude Math-a-thon (email me if you would like to donate/sponsor the kids!!!)

 Sweet Pea worked on 1st grade math. :)

 Peanut in her cuteness, decided to take a break and watch Jungle Junction.   :)

 More Math-a-thon

 Fall art for their momma.  LOL

 Thanks Gramma Linda for the fingerpaints for Peanut ..she shared with big bro and sis! 

 And then Bubba decided to palm her.  LOL 

 A little time for fun!

 We studied Rosh Hashanah on Thursday.  The kids are doing their apples in celebration of the Jewish Holiday. 

 Bible study time.  Bubba has been reading to us.  He was waiting so patiently to read to us about Adam and Eve.  I had to tell him to wait until we finished our lesson first.  :) 

 Sweet Pea decorating the prize box for Fun Fridays

 I created word play bingo for fun Friday.  I used words from all the things we covered this week! 

 Bubba's pillowcase ghost he made.  It will become a chair cover.  :)

This is just a fraction of what we have done this week!  I can't wait to see what he next weeks have in store!

Perspective and Acknowledgement

Perspective.  It's not something we keep sight of sometimes.  Life gets in the way and we lose that perspective that is SO important.  In my opinion, one important step of simplifying is gaining perspective and clarity. 

As I unpack from our move YET again, I get overwhelmed and caught up in all that comes with a new place and putting it together to build our home.  Sure, it is important for me to build our home but what is more important is what I use to build that home and the perspective that I have.  There's so much that I want to touch on, that I am not sure where to start, so I'll start with this. 

I've spent the past few days in our new home pondering the "I needs" and the "I wants" in order to make our home comfortable and nice; spending our money, the Lord's money, before we even receive it.  The reality is, we have everything we need already and then some.  It is not getting what we want, it's wanting what he have.  Everytime I have lookeda round the rooms of our house, I think about how I can make it work with what we already have, mildly get sad because "if only I had..." and then suddenly I get smacked right in the face with a hard dose of perspective today.

I came upon some photos of a friend's friend on facebook.  (Gee...facebook for some perspective?  LOL) She had posted pictures of her missions trip to Kenya.   I showed the pictures to my 8 year old son and he just stood there dumbfounded and said he suddenly had a tummy ache.  (Not sure if it was from the pictures or from the pizza he just ate, LOL)

A mother of 5 kids, whose husband passed away, with a mud hut house, a kitchen that has a dirt floor and no appliances, a dirt floor living room with one wooden chair (not even adult size) and one bed.  Not even a bed you or I in the states would sleep on regularly; more like a hammock, for six people!  My "little" 1500 square foot home with gigantic backyard, twelve inch tile floors, air conditioned, duet front loader washer and dryer, 2 tv's, stainless steel appliances, etc...is a MANSION compared to this house. 

And yet, this family has a smile on their face in EVERY.PICTURE.  They are content, they have perspective and they have joy, despite their circumstances.  Although, I'm not so convinced that they believe they have a circumstance.  Our western culture probably labels it so.  ;) Anyway, "this" is God's will for them.  A little girl comes home from school every day and washes her school uniform in the backyard in what resembles a little wading pool for our little people. This is after walking back from school for 3 miles.  My kids can barely make their dirty clothes into the hamper!  (Don't misunderstand; my kids are great kids and really do help! Just trying to illustrate a point.) 

These families lives are simple and okay; complicated and pitiful to us.  Yet, they are content and joyful and life goes on. 

I'm not saying we need to ditch all our modern conveniences; just saying want what you've got and have some perspective.  One key to simplifying your life is perspective.  Another one is contentment and a third is joy; all in regard to your life and relationships.  Also, looking to the most important relationship above all with God and discerning the priority and importance of time with him and acknowledging him. 

I think this week I'll keep studying perspective and what my role is and urge my family to gain some persepective, find contentment and choose joy.  Will you? 

Some bible verses to ponder this week:  Luke 10:42; Proverbs 3:6 and Isiah 30:21

Finally.....working on simplifying...

When did life get so complicated???  Really??? 

So, I was in Target the Thursday before Easter Sunday with Lily and she and I were going to get some Easter  basket "stuff".  Now, I've never really been that into big huge Easter baskets.  I'll get the kids stuff and hide them and such, but I never put a whole lot into it.  And the good Lord KNOWS this momma doesn't need all that candy around!  But, anyway, we were approaching the Easter section of Target and I stopped and just watched at the mayhem and people cramming through the aisles, loading their carts up like it was Christmas.  Really?  I tried to make my way through just to get a bag of M&M's and I looked at Lily and said "we're out of here!" 

Since when did Easter become Christmas?  It's also sad that Walmart had Cadbury creme eggs (my fave as a kid) out right after Christmas.  As Lily and I turned around from the madness it's when I rememberd simplifcation. I washed my hands of all the hullabaloo that surrounds each holiday; it's pathetic how stores and merchants capitalize on these holidays.  Sure, it's great for the economy; but is it great for our hearts?

Grandma Mavis was always so simple when it came to Easter.  She made a fantastic meal with homeade rolls (I can still taste them), she'd make a bunny cake just because and she gave us kites and candy but we all had to share the candy.  She'd put it in a big ole basket in the living room for everyone to take a handful and then we'd go out into the field and fly our kites.  Our kites sailing in the wind on a beautiful, sunny, Easter day was yet another symbol of renewal and rebirth. Flying free.  Of course, as a kid, I didn't realize that then, but as an adult, I see the correlation.  That was Grandma and Grandpa's way of simplifying Easter and all that it means.  I want that for my kids.  Although, in Arizona, you don't quite get as much wind to fly kites.  LOL 

But, that doesn't mean I can't do the same type of thing for my kids.  My job as a momma is to help mold my kids into godly little human beings full of compassion, grace, faith, love, and all that goes with those traits.  For a momma in a big city trying to go against the grain of society, that can be a huge challenge.  It's one that I'm willing to take on, though.  It's something that has been tugging at my heart for a long time.  I had such a simple life growing up.  It doesn't mean my childhood was perfect; it was far from it and it's a story for another day.  However, the simple country life that I had and everything that I didn't has me longing to show my kids what that is like.  It was awesome and if I could, I'd take them to the country in a heartbeat.  But, I can't.  So, God has challenged me to live that same simple life in this crazy world.  I'm ready. 

Blessings,
Tanya

Introduction of sorts

I am a stay at home mom of three beautiful, amazing children ages 7, 5 and 1.  I always knew when I was young that I was going to go some place warm; you know, dreaming as a kid of the beaches of Florida or California???  I knew I'd get out of small town Minnesota - little did I know that God would lead me to Arizona; TWICE??!! At the same time, that simple life still calls me, beckons me and is in me.  You'll never be able to take the small town out of me.  The question is, how can I merge the two and continue to be where I am and provide the kind of life I have always desired for me and my family: God centered, family oriented, grateful, gracious, compassionate, giving, joyful hearts, forgiving, servant hearted, humble, patient and faithful? 

My desire to live simple life and enjoy the fruits of my labor is overwhelmingly apparent.  How can one do so in the midst of a world full of modern conveniences at his or her fingertips - LITERALLY!  :P

As I sit down and reflect on my past dumb dumb (reminds me of Night at the Museum: dum dum tree, LOL) mistakes, I realize that they weren't so much mistakes as opportunities to be enriched.  Based on my past and what I have learned after years of study and getting better and better at my job as a stay at home mom, always seeking out new ways of doing things and re-doing things, I needed to figure out what I wanted (and more so what God wanted) for me, my husband and our three kids and any future children we may have or adopt. 

How do I wish to achieve the simple life I desire?  I need to break down all the areas of my life; and there are many, ways and areas we need to address, grow in and simplify down to find that healthy balance.  :) 

Growth:  in my prayer life and in relationships:  With god, myself, my husband, each child individually and friends and any community or church involvement. 

Simplicity (so I can focus on my growth):  household simplifying, frugal living (being good stewards of the money that God loans us), baking from scratch (need to take care of the bodies God has given us and use what nature supplies us), budgeting (goes along with frugal living: being good stewards of "our" money), decorating on a dime, holidays, volunteering and giving back, home remedies, simple foods and recipes, simple exercises, education ,parenting, preparing our kids with simplicity, grocery shopping, repurposing, meal times, time management, housework, etc....

I think God has given me the opportunity to stay at home and I need to run with it.  I still desire to help out financially, but I am doing that in some ways with my transcription and in some ways by being frugal and finding the simpler way of doing things to stretch that dollar.  I will be honest in saying that the past 8 years have been a roller coaster of ups and downs, but I think we have a handle on things now.  The 30's are the new 20's, right??? ? LOL  It has been a struggle, but I think it is all in how you look at it, what you've learned from it and what you can pass on to others!  That's the gift!!!  Financially things were tough, but I was there for my family in a way that I never had growing up.  I think God has allowed me to be a MOM; the mom I always wanted and needed growing up.  This is my chance to get it right.  :)  I love my mother...she is a wonderful lady a very SIMPLE lady (apple doesn't fall far from the tree' eh?); but, growing up she was not emotionally available when I needed it the most.  There was not a whole lot of love and affection in my parents house; neither between my parents, nor with me and my siblings. As for me and MY HOUSE, there is and we will serve the Lord! 

Whether you are a WAHM, WOHM OR SAHM (or dad!!!), we are all PARENTS trying to do what we feel is best for our family in this particular season of life.  Isn't that enough and the truth?  No need for competition. :)  Whether you home school, private school or public school; whether you are crunchy, whether you attachment parent, whether you WHATEVER.....we are all in the same boat and the simple life can be achieved so we can focus on what really matters. 

So sit back, enjoy your cup o'joe (or your beverage of choice) and let us dig into the simple life!  :D